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Awful Terrible Horrible Bad Stinks
Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)
Nicolas Cage
It might occur to you, reading the above headline, that i didn't like this film a lot. And you'd be right -- in fact i didn't like it a WHOLE lot. In fact, i despised it.

What's happened here is called "completely missing the point."

This is a remake for which there was even less need than there is for most remakes.

The original film isn't much, and, in objective cinematic terms, it's not very good. Technical production values are abysmal, and the acting is worse.

Despite that, the original succeeds admirably at what it set out to do - - wreck a lot of cars and show a clever crook Getting Away With It. And showcase some Incredible stunt driving -- the final stunt is unbelievable. And it's real.

Right off the bat, the remake suffers because someone decided that the hero couldn't be Only In It For The Money, so we get the ridiculous plot gimmick of his being blackmailed back into crime after going straight. This one can work, but it takes a slight amount of intelligence to make it work. And that sin't on display here.

Next mistake was to decide that the film needed a Plot. And a Love Interest. Only plot this story needs is "got to steal 'X' cars by Tuesday and we can't find one of them." Again -- for the money, not because he's nobly risking his own life and freedom to save his brother.

Third mistake is introducing an Evial Villain. Not needed.

Fourth mistake is making the hard-to-find car something exotic and rare; in the original film, the Mustang Mach One they were trying to find seemed to be, at the time, nearly as common as VW Beetles, and not being able to find one was a running gag. (I remember the period -- i didn't go a day without seeing one or two.)

Fifth mistake is not using a real one, anyway. The car in the film is a fibreglass body which sort of resembles the GT500 it's supposed to be -- or rather, looks like what a GT500 would have looked like if the original designer had had the good taste to consult this film's art director.

Sixth mistake is the fact that -- even if it were real -- the car isn't nearly original anymore, and anyone who specified a specific year of GT500 is going to want Original. The paint is nothing like the original, and it's fitted with a nitrous system -- the only question about the result of putting a system like that on a 427 side oiler in the degree of build-up that Ol' Shel and his gnomes put into the (original) GT500 is how big the crater will be and how soon it'll happen..

Seventh Solecism is that, even if it looked real, and even if it looked original, the car either has Chrysler running gear under it, or the sound men used the sound of a Chrysler-powered vehicle (a number of people have identified the sound of the starter as being a Chizzler product.)

Eigth Error is that they spend more time on their idiot plot than they do on the Chase. And that's exactly backward of what made the original film so good. And the chase they do sort of show is made up of isolated and un-connected stunts that don't gel together as a chase.

And the Ninth and Biggest Horrible Thing is faking The Jump. Given the apparent location and setup of The Sort Of Jump in this film, i'm sure it either had to be wholly or partially faked with CGI or else was done with an empty car.

In the original, Halicki himself actually rode that thing, jumping it high over four "wrecked" cars in the middle of the road. As we watch it in slow motion, we can see the whole body of the car flex and twist as it hits the ground, see the tires spinning and burning as he fights for control...

In this "remake", we sort of see what's maybe a car fly through the air in a shot that really doesn't give us a very good view.

Pass this up; watch the original.

It's sad -- if they had done anything like a real remake, Cage would have been perfect for the part.

Oh, well. At least the original is available.