14 December 2005
Susblood Labs, LLC Announces New Suicide Bomb Deterrents
And that's where the "Infidel's Revenge" Suicide-Bomber-Deterrent-Device-and-Ballpoint-Pen comes in, as explained by the manufacturer:
Large-size hermetically-sealed capsules with a six-year shelf life, based on recombinant DNA technology, designed to be placed in buildings, busses, etc., to deter suicide-bomber attacks.
Susblood Lab, LLC: "Finally, we can all do something to bring an end to global terror." ¶ 9:41 AM
 | Here it is! Now you, too can do your part in the suppression of international terrorism! |  |
As Susblood Labs, LLC, the manufacturer of the "Infidel's Revenge" Suicide-Bomber-Deterrent-Device-and-Ballpoint-Pen combination, point out, a major incentive for suicide bombers is their belief that dying in such a matter as part of the jihad against the Crusader Bush, and his minions guarantees them a place of honour in Paradise with twenty-seven beautiful virgins at their beck and call.
[Didja ever wonder what they promise the female suicide bombers?]
[Rude mental image of al Quaeda recruiter holding up hands about two feet apart...]
[Rude mental image of al Quaeda recruiter holding up hands about two feet apart...]
But not if they are rendered ritually impure at the moment of the attack.
And that's where the "Infidel's Revenge" Suicide-Bomber-Deterrent-Device-and-Ballpoint-Pen comes in, as explained by the manufacturer:
How it works:Other Susblood products designed to combat terrorism include:
In the extreme heat of a terrorist explosion the components in the pens' chambers combine, and vaporize. The result is a fine atomized mist of fully active, reconstituted porcine plasma (pig's blood) permeating the entire scene; defiling the flesh and soul of the suicide bomber; paradise lost for terrorists and incentive eliminated for would-be-terrorists. Our products are safe, non-toxic and do not affect the eternity of infidels.
Large-size hermetically-sealed capsules with a six-year shelf life, based on recombinant DNA technology, designed to be placed in buildings, busses, etc., to deter suicide-bomber attacks.
Susblood Lab, LLC: "Finally, we can all do something to bring an end to global terror." ¶ 9:41 AM
